Chocolate Scented
by Computerfreak101
Summary: Matt took off his goggles and rubbed his eyes. Mello was now taking several short whiffs of Near’s albino locks, snuffling like a Bloodhound through the hair while the poor boy tried to remember what Rodger had told him about Bad Men and Bad Touching.


Hi everyone! Compy here, coming to you live with my first Death Note fanfic! This is the _complete fault_ of Her Sweetness, for dragging me out of my Who Knows How Long Rut and shattering my dream of my first DN fanfic featuring Ryuk. **sigh** Sweetie, your voodoo is a scary thing.

So yes, the basic idea goes to Her Sweetness, and Death Note goes to Ohba-sensei and Obata-sensei. I own nothing but the cluttered explosion that is my desk.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o**

"You're cheating."

"We've been _over_ this, Mello."

"No, no, you're _definitely_ cheating. It is the only _conceivable way_--"

"How am I cheating, then?"

Mello glared at the screen, fingers attacking the controller's buttons.

"I'm waiting…"

"Damn shortcuts--"

"They're there for a reason--"

"_Cheat _codes--"

"Also there for a reason--"

"And this controller's freaking _defective_--"

"You say that about every controller I own, Mello."

"Yeah, well _you_--"

"Oh look, I win. Again."

"I hate you so much."

"That's not what you said last night."

Matt laughed as his friend proceeded to try and beat him to death with the controller, and suffocate him with a cushion (at the same time). "Oh no, no, please--please don't hurt me, I'm delicate!"

"Like _hell_ you are," growled Mello, continuing his pillow assault (and pseudo-swordfight with his and Matt's controllers) as Near walked in, having left one of his puzzles in the Game Room. He was holding one of his older robots in his arms, and his hair was slightly damp from a recent shower, bringing to the room the smell of--

Matt blinked as Mello suddenly stopped his attempt at first degree murder, shooting up like a spring and letting the controller fall from his hands to the floor with a clatter. Matt could only stare in detached fascination as Mello, back ramrod straight, sniffed the air like a rabbit, eyes dilated and nostrils flaring. The chocolate addict stood up, game forgotten, and walked around the couch, still sniffing. Near and Matt both watched him as he walked the length of the room, coming closer, closer…

He grabbed Near and pulled him close, their bodies flush up against the other and just as Matt was about to tell Mello that, Yes, it's great that you've finally picked hormones over chocolate, but could you please do so in a room that _I'm not in_--

Mello pulled Near's head forward and sniffed his hair.

Matt took off his goggles and rubbed his eyes. Mello was taking long, deep sniffs. He cleaned the eyewear and put them back on. Mello was now taking several short whiffs of Near's albino locks, snuffling like a Bloodhound through the hair while the poor boy tried to remember what Roger had told him about Bad Men and Bad Touching.

After a minute or so of continued smelling and complete violation of personal bubbles, Matt finally found his tongue. "Mello…what are you doing?"

With one last, deep inhale, Mello pulled back solemnly, looking Near dead in the eyes as the younger boy stared back, eyes wide and unblinking.

"Mello…?"

"_Your hair_."

"What about it?"

Mello's eye twitched. "Your hair smells like chocolate! MY chocolate!"

"Mel, what the heck--"

"This little bastard used my shampoo! HE USED MY FREAKING SHAMPOO!"

"Mello--"

"Wait." Number One and Number Two both turned to see Matt with his forehead pressed against the back of the couch, shoulders shaking with mirth. "Wait, hold on, you mean to tell me that you use **chocolate** scented shampoo?"

"YES, I do!"

"Does that even _exist_?"

"YES, it does! But this one is _special_, it's imported specially from India--SHUT UP!" Mello turned away from the sight of Matt falling off the couch in laughter and glared at Near, flicking his chocolate scented bangs with one hand. "What the hell possessed you to use my shampoo?!"

"We were out of everything else."

"BUT WHY MINE?"

"I just answered that."

"No you DIDN'T just ans--AAAARGH!" Mello pushed Near away from him (they had still been pressed together) and stormed into the bathroom down the hall. "If I find out you used all of it you're dead! You hear me? DEAD!" Mello's angry swearing faded and ended with the slam of a door, and Near was left alone with only Matt (who was close to asphyxiating himself on the floor) for company. Giving a small sigh, Near walked over to the window seat, picking up the 3,000 piece puzzle box that had been sitting in the sun.

"Matt."

"Y--yeah?" Matt was jolted out of his laughter at the sight of blue and red filling his vision. Blinking, he looked up at Near, who was holding his robot out to him, the puzzle box tucked under one arm.

"Matt, I will give you this robot if you don't let him kill me." Matt opened his mouth and, as if on cue, Mello's screaming could be heard again.

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAR! YOU LITTLE BRAT! IT'S GONE! MY PRECIOUS--I MEAN MY SHAMPOO IS **GONE!**"

"Remember your promise," said Near, and Matt was suddenly left with a robot in his arms and the sight of Near vanishing out of the second door in the Game Room, the one that led to the Living Room. Good timing, too, because just then Mello slammed open the door, seething and holding an empty bottle of shampoo (and yes, there _was_ a little picture of a chocolate bar on it) in his hand.

"Where is he? Where **is** he, the little _twerp_, I'm going to MURDER HIM! I'm going to tear out his guts, replace his eyeballs with puzzle pieces, I'll shove that robot up his goddamned ass! **WHERE IS HE?**"

The last question was thrown at Matt, who looked up at Mello from his awkward position on the floor. Then he looked at the robot in his hands. Back to Mello. The robot. Mello. The robot. Mello.

Mello blinked as Matt held up Near's toy, moving its plastic head side to side and saying in a computerized voice not unlike the one heard behind a large, styled L…

"Error. Error. Does not compute. Go back to India. My precious. My precious. Error. Error. Does not--"

For the second time that day, Matt found himself fighting for his life against his enraged best friend and an empty shampoo bottle. He didn't mind, though, even when his back was pressed painfully against the forgotten robot, and Mello squeezed the bottle so hard that the last few drops of chocolate hair care dropped onto Matt's face and goggles. Because Matt was laughing and Mello was swearing, and he knew that in an hour this would all be forgotten and they'd be back to debating the nature of Good and Cheating and maybe playing with the robot, because that's the way things _were_ with them, after all

On the floor above, Near finished his puzzle.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o**

So there you have it. Why you should never touch Mello's shampoo, and the origins of L's computer voice ('cept not really). Hope you enjoyed it!

Compy


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